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"When was the last time you rose, victorious, like a phoenix from the ashes?

anyone can be burned, crushed consumed.

but not everyone chooses to rise.

grace is the air that turns our cinders to ashes and our ashes to wings.

rise. then rise again."

this was my favorite month from our bedroom calendar. i thought so much about those words. i seriously contemplated getting a tattoo of a phoenix. the artwork is beautiful on the calendar but it's the words that held me captive.

i feel like i can relate. mostly though, when i think of being burned to the ground, my mother comes to mind. there was a time, a couple of years ago that the way she treated me, i'll never be able to forgive. i've thought about it and how much it changed me. it hurt so much but it definitely made me a tougher person. no one should have to deal with the emotional trauma she dealt me. it's made me very distrustful of her. i'll never fully be able to entrust my wellbeing to her. that's how to say but so very true.

in the end, i came out stronger. i wouldn't wish an experience like what i went through on anyone. it made me see that there were only two other people in the world i could completely, irrevocably: johnathan and my dad.