24/365

i'm not a very religious person. i always considered myself more traditional than religious. i always thought i'd go through life that way. when asked my religion, i would usually feel a small jolt inside- as if i weren't sure whether to be insulted or not. it's safe to say that i was more or less conditioned by those around me growing up to feel disgust toward those people who were religious, those who attended church, those who preached about God. it's also safe to say that most people i knew who were religious always tried to convert me, shoving their thoughts and beliefs down my throat, trying to force me to believe as they did. i always wondered "how can they believe what they're saying. do they really believe it?" how could it possibly be true? how could there really be a god? it's hard to vocalize the thoughts that ran through my head when i didn't understand half of what i was asking.

i felt that you had to accept all that you were told, all the bible says, to be truly religious. that it was all or nothing and i always felt resentful that so many other people could so easily do that and i couldn't because i didn't believe all that the bible says. i wouldn't have been able to live with myself being that kind of hypocrite. pretending to believe when really i didn't. i wanted to believe in a god but found myself leaning more towards reincarnation, evolution, anything else.

then two years ago, johnathan and i went through a very difficult and trying time. we were both pretty unsteady, and as corney as it sounds, lost. those were dark days, months. some things became clearer, while most were rendered murky.

questions plagued me that weren't necessarily about death; "where do we go from here? is there more? why, why, why?" i struggled with everything in my life during this time. i found what i needed but only after my soul was stripped bare and i truly saw myself, saw the world- the universe. it's not empty, it had always been filled. i walked away a better person with deeper beliefs. i don't flaunt my beliefs because they mean too much to me, they're too true to me. i worked too hard for them, went through too much to reach that understanding to treat it as so much literature.

today, i was given a prayer device by a very good friend. it amazes me that i've come so far. that i can view this as a gift rather than an insult or a tool as i once would have looked at it. this was given with the best and purest intentions. that he would give me something that obviously means so much to him in the hopes that it would help me, however small, in what i'm struggling with now blows me away.

so no, i'm not trying to convert you. i only hope you find what you need in your life that satisfies you, keeps you content, gives you a purpose, or even offers you comfort when you're in need.

23/365

so i was waiting outside for the doggy to do her business yesterday when i felt something crawling on my foot. looked down and what do i see?

ANTS!

it truly must be spring then.

ps: click on the pic for a bigger view of these antsies.

22/365

so usually this jar sits in the cabinet for most of the year collecting dust. every once in a while johnathan breaks it out and starts on some project or another.

this weekend he started on some type of hat thing... dont ask. all i know is it involved buckskin, sewing, and beading. of course, he worked on it where our computer is and got beads all over the place.

the bead became a problem today when they interfered with michelle/computer time.

21/365

i found these humongous apples today while we were grocery shopping. my first thought was that they looked like the apple the witch was trying to feed snow white... well i guess she did feed it to her... stupid girl.
anyway, i bought two of them because they were just so big and beautiful even though i don't really like apples... they give me heart burn. yeah, i know that's weird.

Queen:

It's a magic wishing apple!

One bite, and all your dreams will come true!

Now take a bite!

on the surface, the apple is shiny and red. what's inside however is enough to throw snow white into a death-like sleep. serves her right, i say, for being naive enough to take food from a stranger. it's like a kid getting into a shady looking van with the words "free candy" spray painted onto the side.

anyway, i got johnathan to model the apple for me. i was wanting someone, preferably female with pale hands, but instead got my hulking beast of a husband instead. =D

and i prefer to not read too closely into the fact that he jumped at offering me the apple when i told him my vision... ;)

needless to say, i think snow white won't be jumping into any more vans advertising free wishing apples.

20/365

i love my little key holder ducky thing! this is my simplest key ring with only my house key and truck key on it. my other one looks like my dad's key ring with every key imaginable on it. think maybe i need to simplify it all and do the 2-keys on the ring for all my rings.

... does that make sense?

19/365

shot this photo this morning as i went outside to start up my car for work at the butt crack of dawn. i love days like this when the sky is all dark and moody and cant decide whether it wants to be mad or rain. it snowed today but it was beautiful before it dumped it.

18/365

my favorite shoes of all time. so far.

$49, cross trainers, my fav colors, ultra comfy.

what more could i ask for?

17/365

so, like most people of my generation, i can't go anywhere without my phone. i mean, come on! it's a phone, text messaging machine, my photo album, alarm clock, mp3 player, calculator, weather-man, plus so so much more. it's so much a part of me that it's hard to imagine what people did before cell phones came along.

omg. i dreamt last night that i made this huge cookie cake. i cut a piece for johnathan and there was melted gooey chocolate chips and soft moist cookie.
....
it was so good in my dream. i woke up with a sad face cuz it was only a dream. bought some cookie dough but it was nothing like my dream...
... still wearing my sad face.

15/365

so my doggy must have missed me like crazy today! she did not want to leave me alone and lugged her bone into every room i went into. need to give her a bath and haircut ... and maybe some braces for them teeth!

14/365

love love love these shoes! the best part? bought them while they were on sale. ♥ okay, so maybe i didnt need new shoes but how could i withstand the temptation? i'd always be thinking "this outfit would have looked better with those white shoes i saw..."

13/365

i cracked up the first time i saw this. poor johnathan probably almost drove off the road cuz i screamed and yelled "HAMMER TIME!" =D i HAD to take a pic of this. i probably would have done the hammer dance if this stop sign wasnt on main street. i was still giggling while taking this pic... and still very tempted to do the hammer dance. *sigh*

12/365

i'm almost positive that by the time i hit 365, you all will be begging "NO MORE FAIRY PICTURES!" some ppl take pics of flowers all the time... mine will quite possibly be fairies.

11/365

what's a bellydance without her coin belt hmm?
probably still a bellydancer but not as cool. :)
i have bellydance rehearsals on thursday afternoons for a dance show for an flc club called "dance comotion". snapped a quick pic of one of my dancers in her coin belt. the jingles from these skirts are one of the sweetest sounds to me.

10/365

so today i had to cover an assignment for the "the drum" newspaper. the whole newspaper crew was out of the office and so i was left to take pictures of some revitalization project in down town ignacio. i forgot my camera and i had to use the crappiest camera imaginable! even my simple point and shoot would have been a whole hell of a lot better than the newspapers backup camera!
but alas! here's my photo of the day...

9/365

saw this today in the humane society thrift store. he still looked happy even though his previous family didn't want him anymore. just waiting for the right person to take him to his new home i guess.

8/365

"did your grandma teach you how to crochet?"
i get this question alot. no, my grandma did not teach me to crochet, my mother did not teach me to crochet, my aunt did not teach me to crochet. i taught myself. i decided one day that it just looked like the coolest thing and so i went out and bought my first set of hooks, two skeins of yarn, and the "mile a minute" beginners crochet book.
almost 3 years later and i'm still at it. this is the beginning of another baby blanket. did i mention that's about all i love to do, crochet-wise?

7/365

today i went to one of my good friend's shoot to hang out and more or less observe. i kinda just wanted to stay in the background but there were a few times that i had to stop myself from jumping right in. i probably wouldn't have held back if i had had my camera.
note: this is taken with my camera phone- hence the poor ass quality. but do enjoy anyway! :)

6/365

the first self portrait of the album. my hair is getting long and is not quite lying right anymore. soo tempted to cut it especially on the days the back poofs out from my collar. a little more time and it'll grow out to where i'll like it again.

5/365

this is a traditional navajo woman and man. the title "amasani doo acheii" means "a grandma and a grandpa". in the navajo tradition, we call every elder either amasani or acheii. i grew up with lots of grandmas and grandpas- my real grandma's sisters or brothers or cousins or inlaws or someone just related by clan to her. it wasn't until i moved off the rez and started college that i realized i had only one surviving grandparent.

4/365

i've always collected fairy figurines. i've always loved beautiful fairies. sometimes i feel exactly what she's expressing. be what it may to you...

3/365

we had this picture on our wall of our house since we first moved in in nov. of 2006. took it down and replaced it with a pic of my neices and nephew. now it's relegated to a spot on our entertainment center with miss piggy bank.

2/365

right now i'm loving sushi. specifically surimi rolls. we'll see how long this phase lasts but in the meantime...

1/365

This is day 1 of my 365. I'm excited about it and i hope i have the motivation to stick with it for a whoooole long year. i'll have to start taking my camera everywhere i guess. that's not so bad since i'm lucky and have like 3 different cameras all of varying sizes.

so this first picture of my kitty, Kitty. he's been missing since after christmas and all of a sudden he just shows up out of the blue one morning. i guess my dad was right. he said he'd seen him sitting on the porch one day but when he turned back Kitty was gone. we thought daddy was getting senile. but Kitty really is back!

...as a side note: sorry daddy!